Morning everyone! I have really neglected my blog lately and I cannot remember the last time I wrote a blog post but hey, being a mum to two little ones is keeping me busy enough. I no longer have two children under two anymore though! Macie turned two years old on the 10th September; she is such a big girl now no longer my baby. Both girls are doing well though and Aayliah is 11 weeks now; time flies so quick doesn’t it?
I have been thinking about writing this blog post for a while. My facebook and Instagram feeds are filled with new mummies and cute newborns all the time this year and everyone’s lives look so happy and perfect through the eyes of social media it really doesn’t paint a true picture of becoming a mummy! It’s hard! The hardest job in the world; but the most rewarding at the same time. I read an article someone posted onto Facebook the other day about a woman that had written about how she truly felt after 3 days of becoming a mummy for the first time. She was a wreck, emotionally and physically. It really did paint a true picture of how emotional, tired, bewildered, sore and overwhelmed most women feel the first few days after they give birth. I read the article filled with emotion and it really hit home that it isn’t all fairy tale like when you first bring your child home; it can be scary and extremely emotional but social media doesn’t paint this picture. We all see the happy pictures of new mummies , we don’t see the tears and the overwhelming emotions that comes with becoming a mum for the first time.
A lot of my friends have just had or are about to have their first child and it got me thinking about the first time I bought Macie home from hospital. I had a very traumatic birth with my first baby and ended up with an emergency caesarian under general anaesthetic after 3 days of induction and labour! It wasn’t the ideal start to becoming a mummy and it wasn’t at all how I thought it was going to be. I had an ideal of a lovely natural water birth and I would be able to go home a few hours later feeling wonderful and full of love; but this just didn’t happen. It made me wonder why we only see the “perfect” birth all of the time and no one prepares us for the worst! I thought that when you gave birth it would be all singing and dancing and I would have been filled with the overwhelming feeling of love and excitement, however this wasn’t the case. Yet social media, films and TV seem to want to portray that when you become a mummy that’s the way you should feel and for most this isn’t true! Yes you feel love for your newborn and you are amazed at the fact he/she was inside of you, but I definitely felt it took time to bond with Macie which I wasn’t expecting. I felt a little let down.
I was a wreck after I give birth to Macie. I woke up from my general not knowing where I was, what had happened let alone that I wasn’t pregnant anymore. Kris walked in with Macie and I gave her some of her bottle but it was hours after that I properly came round and then it hit me; I have to look after this child. I couldn’t get out of bed, I was scared about ripping my stitches open, I had never had to stay in hospital before; it was scary! But the nurses were great and helped me but I did have to ask first; I felt a little stupid for asking and thought that it would just come naturally and to a certain extent it did but I still needed help. So my advice to other new mums is don’t feel like you have to do everything the hard way, if you need help just ask someone. I would never wish my first birth on anyone, it was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do but again it is all worth it. I was definitely more prepared the second time and felt more settled straight away with Aayliah but it is still hard.
When you become a mum, in most cases it is the first time you have ever been responsible for another human being in your life and that is scary in itself. This newborn is reliant on you! Everyone questions themselves and doubts what they’re doing is correct but for most people you are doing a great job! So do not let the world of social media make you feel like a failure or that you’re not doing it correctly. I know it isn’t all perfect and you may feel like you are not doing a good job but you are! Becoming a mummy for the second time is a lot easier, also having a natural birth this time I felt like I did bond more quickly with Aayliah as this is the way we are meant to do it! I would never change anything but I would have prepared myself for the worst more with Macie and not lived in the clouds so much; thinking that everything falls into place and is perfect straight away. I now know from talking to other mums that with their first they felt the same as me however this isn’t always the case and some people do have the “perfect” birth and feel amazing after giving birth but for most of us those first 6 months or more are tough!
How did you feel when you had your first baby? Did you have a good support system around you? Did you feel like you were going crazy in those first few weeks? Would love to hear some of you stories so feel free to share! Now I am off to go feed Aayliah and Macie is playing with water the downstairs bathroom sink so I bet that is everywhere by now! Cheeky Monkey!!